I Am the ‘Boys Have a Penis’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: An Interview.
The action icon is best known as an iconic tough guy. But, in the midst of his star power in the eighties and nineties, he also delivered several critically acclaimed comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which hits its 35-year mark this winter.
The Role and That Line
In the classic film, Schwarzenegger embodies a tough police officer who goes undercover as a schoolteacher to catch a killer. Throughout the story, the crime storyline acts as a simple backdrop for Schwarzenegger to share adorable interactions with kids. Without a doubt the standout features a student named Joseph, who unprompted rises and states the stoic star, “Males have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” Schwarzenegger deadpans, “Thanks for the tip.”
That iconic child was portrayed by former young actor Miko Hughes. In addition to this part featured a notable part on Full House as the bully to the Olsen twins and the haunting part of the youngster who comes back in the 1989 adaptation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with a slate of movies listed on his IMDb. He also engages with fans at the con circuit. He recently recalled his memories from the filming of the classic after all this time.
Behind the Scenes
Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: I think I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.
That's impressive, I have no memory from being four. Do you have any memories from that time?
Yeah, a little bit. They're flashes. They're like mental photographs.
Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?
My family, especially my mother would take me to auditions. Often it was like a cattle call. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all just have to wait, go into the room, be in there for a very short time, read a small part they wanted and that was it. My parents would help me learn the words and then, as soon as I could read, that was probably the first stuff I was reading.
Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?
He was incredibly nice. He was fun. He was pleasant, which I suppose isn't too surprising. It would have been odd if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that likely wouldn't create a positive atmosphere. He was a joy to have on set.
“It'd be weird if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”
I was aware he was a huge celebrity because I was told, but I had barely seen his movies. I knew the air around him — like, that's cool — but he didn't frighten me. He was simply playful and I just wanted to play with him when he wasn't busy. He was occupied, of course, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd tense up and we'd be holding on. He was incredibly giving. He gifted all the students in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was like an iPhone. This was the hottest tech out there, that distinctive classic yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It finally gave out. I also received a genuine metal whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.
Do you remember your experience as being fun?
You know, it's interesting, that movie was this cultural thing. It was such a big movie, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, looking back now, I would want my memories to be of collaborating with Schwarzenegger, the direction of Ivan Reitman, visiting Astoria, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the pepperoni off the top. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was just released. That was the hot thing, and I was pretty good at it. I was the smallest kid and some of the older kids would bring me their Game Boys to pass certain levels on games because I was able to, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.
The Line
OK, the infamous quote, do you remember how it happened? Did you understand the words?
At the time, I probably didn't know what the word taboo meant, but I realized it got a reaction and it caused the crew to chuckle. I understood it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given special permission in this case because it was comedic.
“She really wrestled with it.”
How it came about, according to family lore, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. Certain bits of dialogue were written into the script, but once they had the whole cast on the set, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they worked on it while filming and, I suppose the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "Let me think about it, I need time" and took a day or two. It was a tough call for her. She said she was hesitant, but she felt it would likely become one of the iconic quotes from the movie and history proved her correct.
